The Gift of Silence: A Parent’s Guide to Holiday Career Stress (Without the Drama)

Parent hovering as a project manager, parent sitting relaxing as a coach. Student stressed over project manager parent, student relaxed reading From Hi to Hired.

I’ve been in Talent Acquisition for over 25 years, hiring thousands of people for Fortune 500 companies. But I’m also a human being who knows exactly how stressful family dynamics can get during the holidays.

We all know the "Holiday Dance." It happens over dinner or on the long car ride to Grandma’s. The air is festive, the hot cocoa is warm, and then you ask the forbidden question:

"So, have you thought about what you’re doing this summer?"

You mean it innocently. You’re worried. You want to help. But here is what they hear: "You aren't doing enough, you're behind, and I don't trust you to handle this."

Cue the eye rolls. The walls go up. Suddenly, the peace of the season is replaced by a low-grade tension that makes everyone want to retreat to their phones. You lay awake at night wondering if they are actually going to be okay after graduation, but you can't say anything without starting a fight.

Here is the secret to peace of mind this winter break: You need to change roles.

The Parent’s Pivot: Project Manager vs. The Coach

In my book, From Hi to Hired, I have a specific note to parents that changes the dynamic instantly: You need to be a coach, not a project manager.

This is the most critical shift you can make to preserve your relationship (and their sanity):

• The Project Manager nags about deadlines. They ask "Did you apply yet?" They hover. They create stress.

• The Coach provides the resources, the equipment, and the encouragement for the player to win. But they stay on the sidelines.

Your student wants to succeed. They are likely already feeling the pressure of the "black hole" of online applications. They don't need another boss; they need a champion.

Here is your 3-step game plan for handling winter break without the drama.

1. Declare a "Career No-Fly Zone"

Don't ambush your student between bites of pumpkin pie. If you want to talk about their internship search, schedule it respectfully. Ask permission: "Hey, I'd love to spend 20 minutes on Tuesday hearing about your plans. Does that work?"

Outside of that time? Let them rest. Burnout is real, and the internship search is a marathon, not a sprint. They need time to decompress just as much as you do.

2. Be a Connector, Not a Concierge (or a Concierge Parent)

This is a core principle I teach students, but it applies to parents too. Don't do the work for them. Don't apply for jobs on their behalf (trust me, recruiters can tell). You want them to be a "connector," not just a passive participant.

Instead, offer your network. Say, "I know someone who works in supply chain at [Company X]. Would you like me to make an introduction so you can ask them some questions?" Facilitate the connection, then step back and let them handle the informational interview.

3. Outsource the "Bad Guy" Role

This Christmas, give them the ultimate tool: Me.

Your student might tune you out because you’re "just Mom or Dad." But they will listen to an expert. Let me be the "bad guy" who tells them their resume isn't working. Let me be the insider who explains that applying online is often a waste of time without a strategy.

I wrote From Hi to Hired as a love letter to this generation. I wanted to help them navigate a system that is often clunky, confusing, and impersonal.

In the book, I break down the hard truths they need to hear, but might not accept from you:

• The Resume Reality: Why their "history report" resume is boring recruiters to tears, and how to write a "marketing ad" instead.

  
  

• The "Hack" Myth: Why trying to "beat the ATS" with white text and keywords is a waste of time, and why durable strategy wins.

  
  

• The Networking Fix: How to build actual relationships rather than just asking for favors.

  
  

Let me handle the reality checks and the roadmap. You? You just sit back, enjoy your holiday, and watch them gain the confidence to launch.

Let’s keep the peace this holiday. You handle the turkey; I’ll handle the career advice.'

FAQ: Helping Your College Student Career Search

How can I help my college student find an internship without nagging? Shift your role from "Project Manager" to "Coach." Instead of asking about deadlines, provide resources (like books or connections) and schedule specific times to talk rather than bringing it up randomly.

Why isn't my student getting responses to their internship applications? They may be falling into the "black hole" of online applications by using a generic resume. They need to turn their resume into a marketing ad using keywords relevant to the job description, rather than just listing their history.

Does my student need a "flashy" resume to stand out? No. In fact, flashy resumes with graphics often confuse Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS). A clean, well-structured resume that focuses on skills and keywords is more effective.